Generosity of assumptions
There are obvious examples of generosity – giving time or money or things. But I’ve also been thinking about what I’m calling generosity of assumptions for want of better word. Here I’m thinking about what we assume about people. In particular, what short cuts we take when assessing someone’s actions.
I’m thinking here about actions like someone not turning up for a call and not letting you know beforehand. We could assume that the person is just rude or we could assume that something has happened outside of their control and that the call was the last thing on their mind. I think both are likely to be true but assuming the second option feels like generosity to me. Not just to person who didn’t turn up but also to you.
If we wander around on earth assuming the worst of people what does that do to our own spirit?
A bigger example for me is someone copying someone else’s work. I was in a food blogger Facebook group and a lot of the food bloggers were sharing stories of restaurants and food brands using their photos. I can understand why they were getting upset. When you put so much effort into something to have someone then effectively steal it, is awful. But I was thinking about how so many businesses see images on Google and assume that they are free to use.
When I first started blogging, I didn’t know anything about copyright of photos on the internet. I don’t think I intentionally stole anyone’s images. I think I used appropriate sources for free images (and I now pay for images I use) but it would have been easy for me to not have done this. Copyright rules can feel complex to someone who has no experience of the creative world.
If we assume that people have made a mistake rather than intentionally stealing work does it help us walk through the world in a light?
Does it make it easier to gently approach the businesses and ask them to take the photos down rather or pay for them than assuming that they have stolen them intentionally and that a lawyer is going to be needed.
I’m not saying that once someone shows their true colours and they have stolen your work intentionally that you should be all chill about it. In those cases I think taking all the options you have available to you to get your work back or paid for you should take – noting that what is available to you is very much dependent on your financial position and network. But that in the first instance assuming the softer approach is going to work.
I think assuming the softer approach is going to work is good for your soul.
Probably because I’ve been reading Andrea Gibson’s poetry. In her poem The Year of No Grudges or Instead of Writing a Furious Text, I Try a Poem she says:
I know most people try hard to do good and find out too late they should tried softer.
The full poem from the book You Better Be Lightning is a must read if you are looking to incorporate generosity in your business and life.
It has really stuck with me. I’m not sure what softer means – something I’m still pondering. But this example of stolen work feels like one example in a business context.
I’m asking myself this question:
How can I start assuming the best in people?
I struggle with this. I’ve got a lot of walls to protect myself but I know they don’t serve me. I want to start chipping at those walls to live a softer life. The scary thing is that it is simple to do (but not easy).